As I sat down to jot some reflections from the last 3 months, I was overwhelmed with thoughts many of which I am unable to articulate but the ones I can could go on for pages and pages. Here is a snippit of my thoughts…more to be shared in due time.
I can’t believe it has already been 3 months and, at the same time, I can’t believe it has only been 3 months since my life changed forever on January 4. Everyone tries to tell you what motherhood is like, but those attempts are all in vain because it is like nothing that can be explained until you experience it yourself.
For me motherhood has been like living life in HD. Everything is clearer, brighter, and has more depth. Daily I am challenged to grow my patience, compassion, and humility.
I can be a tough cookie. I usually “nurture” my students by setting high standards and pushing them to meet them, cheering on and supporting them all the way. That doesn’t work for a newborn though. Bradley doesn’t care right now what my expectations of him are. All he cares about is if he is loved and having his needs met. It is a new way for me to approach life. I have found patience that I didn’t know I had as he and I work through our challenges together while I wait for him to figure things out and he waits for me to figure him out.
During the first weeks of Bradley life, my mom gave me a piece of advice that I anticipate will take me far. She told me that being a mom means “embarrassing yourself for the good of your child”. Peeked in the window of the nursery at church to check on my colicky baby? Done it. Called the pediatrician three times in the same week because I knew something wasn’t right? Yup. Told the random lady in the grocery store that “I’m sorry, but I don’t let other people touch my baby”? Right here. And I didn’t think twice.
For the last 12 months, Bradley and I have been connected and I have been able to provide all of his needs. For the last 3 months, I have been able to be home and finally allocate my time to reflect my priorities with my family coming first. Tomorrow those will change as I return to work for two months, but the lesson I have learned will stay with me. I will cherish my moments at home with my sweet boy and my amazing husband. I will praise God for the blessings He has bestowed upon me. I will continue to love my wonderful, full, High-Definition life.